Life of an Unemployed Thief
by Disgaea4everdood
Summary: After a mishap that nearly destroyed Laharl's castle, Niko-the young rogue-was fired; and now sets off on a quest to be the best demon like no one ever was... that is, if he can land a job without screwing up. Takes place between HoD and DD2. Rated T for mild swearing.


**-The following is pure fanfiction. The Disgaea series those related to the Netherverse is owned by Nippon Ichi Software. Please support the official release-**

 ** _Life of an Unemployed Thief_**

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The Netherworld, a lawless land ruled by an overlord named King Krichevskoy; feared and respected by all. However, the king has long since perished by a single snack. Since then, the young prince-Laharl, has risen from his slumber and claimed his title as overlord, along with establishing a bond between the Netherworld and Celestia. But, this isn't the tale we'll be telling you. The tale we're looking upon will show an unlikely demon whose life will soon unfold.

* * *

The scenario opens inside Laharl's castle, where the young overlord sits on his throne looking very cross at the three vassals-a male rogue, a strider, and a Prinny donning a red headscarf-feeling like they're about to piss themselves. Etna, on the other hand, stood beside Laharl with both hands behind her head; and a catlike smile.

"You idiots have really done it this time…! Do you realize the damage you done to my castle!?" he roared.

"Ooh, Prince is really steamed now!" Etna cooed.

The rogue step up. "N-now wait, Your Highness, I can explain! You see..."

 **"Alright, I know what you readers are thinking… How did I get in this mess in the first place? Well, before I tell you, let me introduce myself… My name is Niko, I am a dashing young rogue and who has been a vassal for the prince for quite some time. However, I... may not be the best of the bunch unlike the rest."**

The scene switched to a montage of Niko's past attempts of fighting demons and failing horribly. Resulting him getting beaten to death.

 **"If I had to admit, then my stats are crap. The only thing I'm good at is stealing; but…"**

Scene transitioned to Niko attempting to steal in the Item World; and yet again, failing, and dying.

 **"...I can't even do that right. That aside, I suppose I'd stalled you guys too long now. Let's see what happened that leads to our hide in the throne, shall we?"**

* * *

 ** _-Flashback Starts-_**

* * *

Niko has start mopping the many corridors of the castle, along with some of the Prinny Squad assigned for cleaning duty. Because of his incompetence, the poor rogue is reduced to cleaning with the Prinnies. He propped his head on his mop as he stopped partially cleaning.

"Ugh this sucks… Why am I the one demoted to cleaning duty in this monster of a castle?."

"Because Prince Laharl said that 'If you don't get your butt into battle, then maybe cleaning with the Prinnies will suit you better', dood." the Prinny with the headscarf said.

 **"That Prinny there, is Dave. Don't know why he wears that scarf; maybe he wants to be special. Either way, we're good friends."**

"You're one to talk… You're even lazier than I am!" Niko retorted.

"At least I'm good at it; unlike you, dood." Dave replied smugly before Niko whacked the Prinny with his mop.

"Argh… is there anything fun to do?"

"Hey, Niko!"

The male thief turned his head and sees the young scout running up to him.

 **"This is my other best bud, Gunther! A few years younger than me, and a bit simpleminded; but he loves making toys. Not to mention, his appetite is huge; considering he always pack food in that tiny backpack of his."**

"Yo, Gunther! What's up, man?"

"I just made something great! Check it out!" Gunther pulled out a Pringer X model and a remote controller out of his backpack."

"Whoa-hoh! You made Pringer X, dood? That's amazing!"

Gunther smiled sheepishly. "Aw, it's nothing! I just had an inspiration of the thing, so I decided to make it!"

 **"In other words, he got the idea from reading the latest issue of "The Stellar Adventures of Space Detective Prinny Mask". Trust me, we're fans of that series."**

"That looks awesome! Can I give it a shot?" Niko asked.

"Go right ahead! Give it a whirl!" Relied the scout with a toothy grin.

Niko take the controller off of Gunther's hand and flipped the switch. The model gives off a mechanical whir as Pringer X begins to levitate. The rogue push the left joystick down and the model hovers upward. A few small movements and he begins to get the hang of the controls. He then try out its functions by pressing the shoulder buttons. The Pringer X model began shooting lasers at the Prinnies cleaning the castle, and Dave.

"Hey! Watch where you're aiming that, dood!"

"Oh man, this is awesome! Controlling one of the most rumored superpowers in the Netherworld feels great!" said Niko with glee. "You really outdone yourself, Gunther, my good man!"

"Aw shucks, it's nothing really!" Gunther replied modestly.

However, in his eyes, Niko spotted a button left untouched in the center of the controller. "Wonder what this button do?"

Gunther suddenly paled. "No wait, don't press that-!" But it was too late, Niko pressed the button and activated the autopilot for the model. Pringer X's eyes glow intensely as it starts firing wildly at the castle. The Prinnies scattered in terror as the RC model goes haywire.

"I can't turn off the autopilot! Gunther was that part of the design?!"

The nervous scout fidgeted. "Well, I was trying to make the the model faithful to its original; and trying to tone down the artificial intelligence during autopilot. It didn't go so well."

"Well can't we yank off its batteries, dood?" Asked the scarfed Prinny.

"I never installed batteries."

"Crap... Oh crap, oh crap... The Prince is gonna be soo freaking pissed when he see's this!" Niko said in fear. He took a deep breath and took his mop to arms. "Sorry, Gunther, but I'm trashing that robot!" He charged towards the Pringer X model.

"Be careful, the thing's supercharged!" shouted Gunther.

"Wait, wasn't he equipped with a weapon, dood?" Dave wondered.

At the lobby, the Pringer X model attacked the Rosenqueen employees and the vassals loitering about. Pleinair, on the other hand, casually remained in her post while the lasers failed to hit her, as if it were a usual Curseday. From behind, Niko arrived and point his mop at the model.

"Hey, rustbucket!" the Pringer X model turned around and set its sights on the young rogue. "You want someone to fight? You're seeing one right here! Come at me, bro!" Having heard his taunt, its eyes glowed brightly and launched plasma balls at Niko. He leaped to the air the moment Pringer X's attack nearly hit him and used the blast to propel himself to Gunther's toy. Using the momentum, Niko struck the RC model with his broom and knock it away.

"Boo-yah! It's a home run!"

The Pringer X model bounce off every walls and floors it collided; only to crash into Laharl's throne room. Not a moment later, and explosion was heard from inside

and smoke billows out from the entryway.

Niko's face became white as a ghost. "Oh, shit..." Gunther and Dave caught up to him when they saw the explosion.

As the smoke cleared, a very pissed off prince appeared from his throne with the broken Pringer X model in hand. He throws the broken toy across the lobby; dismantling it even further. Laharl took a deep breath and shouted...

"WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT CONTRAPTION!?"

Immediately, all fingers points to the trio. Laharl grab them with his scarf and drags the trio to his throne room before they get to say anything.

"W-wait, why am I involved in this, dood?! I didn't do anything!"

* * *

 ** _-End flashback-_**

* * *

 **"And that's my story of how we ended up in front of Prince Laharl's throne. Now, the situation we're in, I have an ingenious idea of how I'm gonna get out of this one. It is guaranteed foolproof!"**

"This is all Gunther's fault." Niko justified while pointing his thumb back at the poor scout.

"What?! But it was YOU who pushed the autopilot, Niko!" retorted Gunther.

"But, 'I' didn't create the death machine! If anything, you should've been more careful of what you build."

"Clearly it's both of your faults, dood. 'I' didn't contribute to anything." Dave said smugly.

"Screw you, penguin, you're in cahoots with his scheme in usurping Overlord Laharl!"

"Usurping?!" Gunther parroted in shock.

"ENOUGH!" Laharl's booming shout silenced the three. "I don't care whose fault it is; you're all responsible for the damage to my castle! I have had it with your incompetence! You all have done nothing but give me a headache the moment I've recruited you from the Dark Assembly! I don't want to see any of you in my castle again, so GET LOST!"

"Translation: pack your things, you're fired. Buh-bye!" said Etna.

Niko and Gunther's jaw dropped in disbelief. "Fired? You're kidding right, Your Majesty? I can do better, give me another chance!" pleaded the rogue.

However, gargoyles grabbed him and Gunther; and escort them out of the throne.

"No, please! GIVE ME ANOTHER CHA-A-ANCE!" Cried Niko before they're out of Laharl's sight.

"Welp, guess it's time for me to pack my things too, dood." said Dave as he turned a around. However, Etna grabbed his head just as the Prinny was about to move his peg legs.

"Uh-uh. You're not going anywhere."

"B-but Prince Laharl-!"

"'Prince Laharl' nothing. You-plus all the Prinnies in this castle-work for me! The only way you're getting out of this, is when the red moon comes; and you have enough to pay off your sins. And sadly, I'm not seeing this happening!" coyly replied Etna. "Now then, off to punishment; you deadbeat Prinny!"

"NO-O-O-O, DOOOOOOD!"

Outside the castle entrance, the escorting gargoyles tossed the two generics out to the gate.

"And stay out!" One of them said before they returned to the castle.

"Yeah? Well, screw all of you! We can survive on our own! We'll show you; pint-sized shirtless antennaed tyrant!" Niko yelled at the castle before slumping back down afterwards. "We're never gonna survive on our own..."

"I'm sorry, if I didn't fix the autopilot, we wouldn't end up like this.." said Gunther.

"Ah, you shouldn't apologize. We're severely underleveled to the point Prince doesn't bother training us anymore." replied Niko. "Well, we don't need him; nor those delicious feast he offered after every battle we've gone through!" said statement made Gunther's mouth water after mention of food. "I'll just start my own legacy, form my own team, and be the greatest Overlord than he is! Yeah, I'll make him regret firing the Great Niko!" the rogue said proudly.

"Are you really sure, Niko?" asked Gunther.

"Of course! I'm the main character of this fanfiction, after all! And main characters always get what he wanted in the end!" replied Niko. "Come on, the night is still young. Let show him how capable we actually are!"

Gunther nodded and clasped Niko's hand; staring him eye-to-eye with undivided trust. The two sets off to the barren Netherworld to begin their journey; unaware that this is the end of the chapter and they'll end up in their hometown in the next chapter.

* * *

 ** _-Next Chapter Preview-_**

* * *

 **Niko: Leaving his home at the age of 1,000, Niko sets off to be the Compact Leader there is!**

 **Gunther: You were that young, Niko?**

 **Niko: But suddenly, he is challenged by his rival Laharl, the grandson of Doctor Wood, into a Compact Fight; using the Compact Creature of the opposite element of his!**

 **Laharl: I don't remember having a grandfather.**

 **Niko: Go, Serpentine! Attack using your Lethal Bubbler attack! It's a direct hit!**

 **Laharl: Damn it, I won't lose!**

 **Niko: Next time on Compact Creatures episode 2: [Shocking Truth! Heroes Trapped in the Virtual Realm!] Go and seek out the Symbol of Bravery, young chosen one!**

 **Gunther: Wait, you're not going to be the Compact Leader?**

 **Dave: I think he mixed the two series up to piss off the fanbase on purpose, dood.**


End file.
